A sea change occurred in my life this summer – I learned to let go. A lifetime’s habit of hoarding junk – I have moved with this junk across Continents – from the UK to India to New Zealand and back to the UK again. Then six moves in six years, the first five across different parts of the same UK city until finally my children and I moved into our own home a couple of years ago in Devon. And now it’s finally time to let go of the junk – with safety, with impunity, with a deep sigh of peace. At last, it’s time, NOW.
And what has prompted this sea change you may ask? Partly the season – according to Chinese medicine Fall is traditionally the season of Metal – a time of letting go of situations, circumstances, people, things that do not serve us. Being a long time people pleaser right up until my early 40s I had always found it difficult not to keep in touch with people, it seemed so impolite not to respond to their emails, their calls for support, their constant stories of drama and trauma. And being a caring person who loved to listen I used to forever attract the same sort of people, the same stories.
The same applied to things – that old dress that gave me memories, that receipt from 1988 gave me safety – what if I throw it away and some agency writes to me and wants to see it? That rusty sewing machine – what if I could get it to work again?
And so the years go by and they are still in the shed at the bottom of the garden or in the cupboard under the stairs.
The main reason why I finally learned to FULLY let go was attending a week-long health and mindfulness retreat in Plum Village, Bordeaux in August this year.
Plum Village was established by Vietnamese monk and peace activist Thich Nhat Hahn. There are now several Plum Villages across the world.
He was nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize in the 1960s by Dr. Martin Luther King junior after fleeing the war in his homeland and bringing worldwide attention to the need for peace.
Thich has written over 100 books about peace and following the practice of mindfulness. One of his quotes is: “People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.”
And there it was clear as day – after a week spent eating three healthy vegan meals a day, dawn Tai Chi sessions, a two-hour daily hike in utter silence (ok with the occasional whispering) and a nighttime lecture on mindfulness, followed by La Grande Cloche which marked the time for night time silence – I realized I had been holding onto many things as a result of childhood trauma. The trauma that was so familiar.
And on return from Plum Village, I discarded the relationship that had served its purpose in our joint healing, the one-sided friendships, the schools led by people whose values were different from my own and more besides. Welcome to happiness – lightness, a feeling of being free and total belief in the support and wisdom of the Universe.
And that shed at the bottom of the garden? Yes, it’s being emptied bit by bit as I am writing this. Nature creates change through making space and letting go, so do I.
