Did you use to dream about finding the “love of your life” at some point in your life? Women, especially, we tend to idealize our dreamed partner as “almost perfect” beings. We imagine him with great qualities (which vary according to the tastes and preferences). We wait patiently (or impatiently) for the knight in his armor to come and save us from our crippling life (or from boredom, as the case may be). We imagine that all our problems will vanish when we find him, and that until that moment, we will be incomplete.
Some women think they find him, and maybe even marry him. Over time, coexistence manages to remove those small “defects” that were well hidden in the phase of falling in love. Even the qualities that at first were charming now appear as exaggerations or flaws in the personality. For example, before, you considered as charming the generosity of your partner, and now you think it is wasteful and puts the family budget at risk. Or perhaps, you fell in love with his noble and simple heart, and now you see him as a person of weak character that does not go after his goals. In short, there are countless examples of situations that change depending on the perspective from which you look.
During coexistence, many things can happen. Some couples decide to separate because they consider intolerable the faults of the other. Some find good reasons to stay together, although they do not feel completely satisfied with their relationship (it could be their children, emotional ties, family, economic situation, etc.), and some decide to stay together really convinced, based on a true feeling of plenitude about the relationship.
Other women believe that the love of their life has not yet arrived. Perhaps they have already gone through a stage of coexistence with what they thought was the love of their lives, and in the end, it did not turn out as they expected. Others, perhaps just feel that it has not arrived yet. They trust, hope and wish that a “good day” someone will appear that will truly fulfill their expectations, which by the way, are increasingly demanding as the years go by.
So, whatever your current situation is in your path to finding “love”, let me tell you something that I discovered for myself: You will not find the love of your life in another place that is not within yourself. The love of your life is You. And only you. So, stop looking for it, and start tuning into it. All the expectations and aspirations you have regarding your partner are no more than a reflection of your own shortcomings. Gaps that cannot be filled from the outside, but only from within. Fill on your own emotional holes, and you will immediately find it. The love of your life is nothing other than self-love. Unconditional love towards yourself, the love of accepting yourself as a perfectly imperfect being.
And how to know if you have found it?
These are some of the symptoms:
• You feel completely happy with yourself
• You never feel alone, neither when you have company, nor when you do not have it
• You feel a state of peace and inner harmony
• You enjoy your moments with you, you treat yourself with love and affection
• You take your time for your things, you have a lot of patience with you
Now, don´t get me wrong. It´s not about loving yourself and expecting to be single forever. In fact, once you find love for yourself, of course, it’s fun to have a partner to have fun with! Although by that point you should not look for a partner, he will gravitate to you without effort, and more importantly, you will have the right attitude to let him into your experience. And the relationship will no longer be a life jacket that will take you out of the burden or boredom, but it will be a full sharing of two complete beings wanting to live intensely!