Have you ever examined the question, “What does happiness mean to me?”
“Am I really 100% happy now?”
“By knowing what my dreams & goals are or by doing things I like to do, will I be happy?”
First of all, let me redefine happiness: Happiness means a period of time, with the cumulative of feeling that comes along, and as long as you flow in it, you will be gradually aware if you are happy or not happy.
In love relationships, we are being brainwashed, wishfully thinking how wonderful married life is. We are shown the image of a couple holding each other’s hands, giving a kiss to each other or hugging each other, and some of us eventually exchange vows to love and cherish each other regardless if we become poor or sick. In this stage, we should be happy, our wish has been fulfilled, but why haven’t we still achieved happiness? The fairy tale is crushed or the environment of the relationship has changed, or we forgot our initial commitment we made to each other.
In our career, when we are unhappy, we tend to resign. We believe in our decision, having new expectations while entering into a new environment. In the end, we are still not happy. The relationship with our boss, manager or colleagues, again, has made us thinking about quitting. Finally, we leave again with the meticulous thought that the new working environment will bring us happiness. We are again in the same loop of the work expectation cycle.
Are we complicating the way we see “Happiness”? Personally, happiness for me is having the sense of belonging in a group that supports each other working toward a common goal. To be able to achieve Happiness, it will be great if we can clearly understand our dreams, our goals or our passion. When there is a conflict or ending of a relationship, happiness gradually fades away or disappears all together as time comes. Regardless, the length of time or the level of engagement in a relationship, we realize that all the happiness we expected relies on ourselves.
When our expectations for happiness and reality of life have a huge gap between them, it leads us to be an anxious and miserable person. Some of my clients comment they are not happy because they are stuck in tangled relationships. We strive and work hard toward happiness by establishing a relationship, in the end, it is the relationship that actually ends our happiness unceremoniously. How contradicting and ironic is it?
Want to be happy? One must learn to handle and deal with relationships with ones-self. From time to time I face challenges, yet, I remain cheerful and change my thoughts by stacking my mind with thoughts of happy past experiences. All the frustrations gradually become a light-hearted smile on my face.
We must learn to keep smiling and reflect on ourselves rather than criticizing or giving prejudice of other views.
Be grateful and thankful for every relationship that has given us the opportunity to grow and touch our heart.
Be positive and passionate in your life, develop and strengthen your character, continue to learn and grow.
Changes will make our character humble and forgiving, but not only that, it starts to attract people to come closer to us, then we have the chance to start improving relationships with others.
We are well aware the world around us changes rapidly, we have created our own environment, and now, we are given an opportunity to act upon our courage, to face and feel our feelings. Happiness can be created in a better relationship with self and others.
“Life is not a lack of beauty, but the lack of discovery from the pair of beautiful eyes“.
It turns out that we do not lack love and happiness, but the lack of spirit of discovery of Love and Happiness. Let us experience life in a different vein; so that we will not be the regular customers of depression anymore. My wish for all of you is to discover your happiness.