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Recognizing and Breaking the Parent Paradigm

I was a people pleaser.  I learned to be a people pleaser because of my parents and their penchant for narrow-minded judgment of everything.  EVERYTHING.  My opinion was always wrong and I couldn’t possibly know what I was talking about.   This led to some major life decisions that I made for them, not for me.  I went to college for the career they wanted for me.  I skipped out on my lifelong dream of a musical theater career because, according to my parents, I needed a “more secure line of work”.  After living their version of my life for 30 years, I finally woke up.

It has been here in my adult home that I have really embraced who I truly am.  My spiritual path has always been beckoning and this time I’m following it.  In fact, I haven’t shared this part of my life with my parents.  I have been pouring myself into my spiritual practice and I took a huge step into my life’s purpose as a spiritual healer.  I have been making great progress on my spiritual path and I am ready to make big changes to fully embrace my purpose. So, why are things not working so well if this is truly my path in life?  It turns out it’s because of energy bonds.

My parents have recently decided they are moving here to enjoy their twilight years and to be closer to my husband and I, and, of course, their grandchildren.  This announcement also brought with it the need to sell two houses (one here and one in Florida), and secure a residence for them to live out their days.  My father was never someone to be proactive in taking care of anything other than money, in a complete scarcity mindset to boot.  The amount of work that needs to be done before listing their home for sale is astronomical.  I recently spent six days, taking time away from my spiritual growth, working dawn to dusk to prep their house for sale and I barely made a dent before returning home.

The day after I got home my parents arrived.  They spent a few days with us while we took them house hunting and met with retirement communities to explore all options before they committed to anything. My parents completely drained me and I did not have a moment to recharge from the six-day marathon work session I had at their house.  I was behind in my own work (spiritually and entrepreneurially) and found myself in charge of coordinating the search for my parents new home.  While all of this was happening I was consumed in a downward spiral, I became increasingly disconnected from my spiritual focus. What’s going on?  I have done my work, I have released everything that has been holding me back, I meditated, journaled, planned, set daily affirmations…so what was the problem?

Energy bonds.  I didn’t think about the energy bonds that would pull me back into what I’m calling the “Parent Paradigm”. They are sabotaging my dream just like every other dream I’ve ever had and they don’t even know that they’re doing it!   I didn’t know they were doing it; but their subconscious energy knows. It’s used to the pattern it has been accustomed to their whole lives.  It’s their subconscious energy that knows my heart is set on my spiritual entrepreneurial path. Their energy is meshed with my energy and I have unknowingly pulled them to me at a most crucial time in my life.  You see, they are so accustomed to keeping me “safe” in their own perception of the word that they have exerted an energetic power over me that I (and they) didn’t even know they had.

Here I am doing everything I possibly can think of to grow my spiritual business, to attract the right clients, analyzing spreadsheets, focusing on pain points, working on myself, etc… Then WHAM!  Here’s a two-week roadblock for you and you’re going to feel your spiritual business momentum crash and burn too.

I’m 43 years old and at this point in my life, I thought I had released all the holds they had over me.  Turns out it was all but one.  Well, not this time Mom and Dad.  Now that I recognize it I am doing some serious work to release it.  Their negative (albeit well-meaning) energy bond no longer has power over me or my choices, subconscious or not.   

If you’re struggling and can’t seem to pinpoint the setbacks, take a good look at your energy bonds and release the ones that no longer serve you.  Who’s holding you back?

P.S. Photo by Matthew Bennett on Unsplash

 

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