I run away from you, but you find me at every turn. Finally, I stop, slow down, and turn around. Here we are face-to-face, I allow you, grief.
I allow grief and it does its work. I allow it to come upon me, pass through me, and move through to the other side. All the while, I remember that you cannot change the energy of love; love may change shape and form in the human world but in the spiritual realm, it transcends time and space. And the greatest of these is love.
I write lovingly in my journal to my loved ones as I journal from my heart. Somehow, creating it on paper makes it transcend into my real world, human experience. When I spiritually connect through the form of the written word, it helps, it heals, it hopes. I can remember those fun times, feel the feeling of bliss! Yes, journaling and focusing on the love, the memories, and the bliss takes me to a higher vibration. It allows me to be raw, vulnerable, and to cry, laugh, smile and live fully into this thing called life.
Life is full of joys, some sorrows, when we allow and accept, we can then move on to embrace; embrace that by feeling and not suppressing we fully live life. As long as I (we) don’t stay in sadness for too long, it’s okay to visit it once-in-a-while and to reminisce. I can then move away from the context of “me” as I move toward writing my letters to my loved ones. I release them in the human world but in the spiritual realm, they are always near. All I have to do is write a love letter to them, journal my way through to the other side to joy, feel into my heart for you.
I accept I need to grieve; I don’t stuff and I no longer make it wrong. I didn’t want to grieve because I felt that (as I was told) that others have it worse or have had deeper grief, pain, loss or suffering. Here’s where I am working toward; grief is grief. Whether you are grieving for your beloved pet or a dear friend, you are grieving. Grieving is not measured by how long someone has been in your life or how “expected” it was that they pass since they are elderly anyway.
It’s okay to say out loud, “I am grieving; I feel sadness, I feel loss and change.” Currently, my grief is multi-layered; my birdies are leaving the nest, my parents have gone to their heavenly respite, I’m no longer somebody’s significant other and, I am no longer a vessel of life having gone through life changes. While some of this is exhilarating, sometimes it is saddening. I am no longer the daughter or caregiver I was, not somebody’s wife, and a different mom than the one I used to be.
Some people go with the flow while others hold on to the lazy river a little while longer. Right now, I’m in the water tube holding onto the last branch before I let go and find myself self-propelled down the waters of the roaring rapids. I don’t know where my journey will take me or where it will end, but I do know I am preparing to propel.
I may come back to the lazy river every now and again as it is necessary to go back to who you were in order to stay focused on who you will choose to be, but either way, it’s okay to sit and visit with grief every now and again.
It’s a way to feel them again by holding onto their memories, by allowing the pain, you open up the conduit to remembering the love and feeling the joy. Write a love letter to your loved ones who have transcended; keep the flame of love alive.