I have a close friend who is engaged to the perfect guy. He is finally someone who deserves her. He is everything any woman could ask for.
Shortly before him, she was in a long relationship with a guy who did not deserve her. He lied, cheated and treated her like she was an option. He constantly let her down and could never hold a job, and she supported him for years. None of her friends liked him including her parents because they all cared for her and wanted the best for her even if she couldn’t see it. She kept trying and trying to make things work with him because unfortunately, you can’t choose who you love. They were together for five years before she moved on and got engaged.
Now almost 3 years later, even though all the pain he put her through, she still finds herself thinking of her ex, Even in her dreams. It’s almost like there’s unfinished business or is it just that she will always love him?
What advice can I give my friend to put her mind at ease?
~ “Concerned in Chichester”
My intuition tells me that her soul is trying to get her to do a “review” of that relationship to teach her something. I feel she is not thinking about him because she still loves him and the reason I say this is because the energy that I am getting from her and her new man is one of happiness and healthiness.
As you stated, the former boyfriend had many unhealthy qualities and treated your friend poorly. That to me does not say love, what your friend should be asking herself is why she stayed in that relationship for as long as she did, considering how unloving he was in his actions.
My feeling is that this relationship had co-dependency undertones and that this is an area that your friend may want to look into her past to see where this co-dependency may have reared its head before. If she sees a pattern she may want to look at her family history to see if this is where the seed was planted (co-dependent behaviors). Usually what’s going wrong in our lives presently seems to always come from our past. I do congratulate your friend for leaving that toxic relationship and I highly recommend that she seek out a counselor to get to the bottom of why she stayed in that relationship for so long. Healing the past and letting go of the baggage from it is the only way to enter a marriage! I wish them all the best!